Horrors from the Vault – Ear Today…Gone Tomorrow

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0:05 Boils and ghouls, it’s time to gather round us horrifying Hunter, petrified Preston, and Devilish Dan crack open another volume of Tales from the Crypt. This is horrors from the farm. Welcome kitties to Horrors from the Vault. My name is Horrifying Hunter and I’ll be one of the three shadowy figures leading you into the dark and haunted corridors of this very vault.

1:23 Tonight we’re cracking open the 12th tome of the final season of Tales from the Crypt with Ear Today… Gone Tomorrow. An episode as, well, excuse me, it’s an episode as the kids would say, all about getting cracked. Which is an expression I personally don’t like very much. Apparently, it’s a new way of saying you’ve had intercourse with someone and it’s like you don’t have a better way to say than you crack somebody. That’s all. Isn’t it gross? It’s really gross. I don’t like it very much, but yeah, it’s a new thing that I’m encountering on social media. And I’m like, I don’t. Anyways, let’s. Let’s not, let’s not, like, I cracked your boy, your boy cracked me. I don’t like any of that, you know? Ugh, ugh. You know what else I’m tired of? I’m tired of the word slop, because I get it. There is a lot of slop out there, but I am so sick of reading the word slop at this point. I wish it wasn’t such an apt word for what it describes.

2:24 You know, like it’s on the nose. I’m like, I hate hearing about it, but unfortunately, it’s like the perfect word for what they’re trying to convey. Can we recontextualize this, Ash? Can we be like, ooh, that’s some AI moist? Like, can we can we make it grosser? That’s a moist slop. That’s ho I think that’s homework. We need to come back with a word what can, you know, change the word slop. Well, we’ll need it for next week’s episode. But before we can venture fully into the vaults. Devilish Dan, not to spoil it too much, but we get a pretty gnarly bit of body horror to conclude our final live-action episode of the series. You got any favorite gross-out body horror moments that are a bit off the beaten path? I don’t want to hear about The Thing. I don’t want to hear about American Werewolf. Like, is there anything in recent memory? It could be an old movie, but like, is there anything in recent memory that you’ve seen where you’re like, That’s really fucking gross. This is one of the weeks I wish you would have gone to Ash first. Well, we talked about last episode, if it didn’t hit the cutting room floor, the new Insidious has some good teeth.

3:33 Grossness in it. So if you have issues with teeth, insidious out of the further is not going to be for you. What else body horror wise? Oh man. I think I got a hard pass. I’m spinning out here that isn’t like. Uh obvious That has been talked about again and again. Can I be controversial here? Sure. Can I say one? Braindead is a little too much for me. Okay. The Peter Jackson one? It’s just a little too gross for me. I don’t know what it is. It is awfully gross. Well, and I think Evil Dead Rise then was probably pretty gross because there’s a lot of kind of copy-paste elements to that. I just think Evil Dead has like a certain slickness to it where I’m like, ooh, yeah. That’s nasty, but Braindead feels like I’m actually watching something I should not be. I hate that. I hate that cover. I hate the little skeleton baby in the mouth. There’s a lot about Braindead where I don’t actually hate this movie, but it is one that sends some shivers up my spine. Just like Slither. I’ve seen Slither once, probably never again.

4:47 See, I think the problem with me too with body horror stuff is like I’ve watched so much special effects things and how things were made where I’m just like I can more appreciate what they did versus getting skeeved out by it. You know, like, so like body horror is not really my prime go-to, but I appreciate your dislike for brain dead that like. custard thing in the soup is pretty gross. Yeah, I’m Go to Ash. See, I’ll try to come back. I think it’s Ash’s turn. I felt because I wrote the question. Let me step in and try to give you both a little bit of buffer room, but I had to pick on you first, Dan. Ash, anything for you that just gives you the absolute heebie-jeebies? Yeah, you know what? This is it’s always good going second for these questions for sure. You know what? I. Gives me the heebie jeebies and makes me shiver every time. You’ve seen Stir of Echoes with a fingernail. Oh, yeah. That is, that gets me every single time. I don’t know what it is with like the fingernails sort of like ripping off or cracking. Oh, there’s another one.

5:50 The fingernail ripping the fly too, that gets me. So yeah, Biddy, not too niche, but yeah, the fingernails in Stir of Echoes and the one with the rip in the fly to him. The Stir of Echoes that’s a good answer. It’s awful. Oh. I did come up with an obvious one that I can’t believe that it just flew out of my brain is Ugly Stepsister from last year was fantastic by your. If you haven’t seen that ash, check out the ugly side. I haven’t seen it. Yeah, it’s on shutter and it was on Hulu for a while. I’m not sure if it is anymore. There’s no fingernails breaking in it, right? No, but there’s like no stuff. There’s a really good tapeworm scene. Oh, tapeworms. Yeah, there’s some bad shit in there. It’s good, though. What do you guys think about um What do you guys think about society, maybe? Oh, yeah. Society is pretty good. See, it’s not really body horror. That doesn’t gross me out to the same extreme, but I feel like that’s one Tales from the Crypt viewers would enjoy if they hadn’t seen it. Yeah, Society is pretty good. It’s good and campy and like gross and sloppy. That’s Screaming Mad George, if I remember correctly. So yeah, some of his effects in there are.

7:02 you know, obviously he’s a king. Call it insensitive if you want, but there is some shit going on with the Japanese and their body horror. Like, what is it? Tetsuo: The Iron Man. Tetsuo: The Iron Man. I had to tap out of that. I had to. Yeah, I could not. That was one of those box sets that I blind bought at Barnes Noble because it was an arrow sale. And I’m like,$40. Let’s check it out. And uh I think I made it through about three of those movies before I said, No, this is this is not for me, guys So that is a hot take’cause I know people absolutely swear by some of those movies. I think I am just an American mainstream uh Punk ass is how you would describe it. But yeah, yeah, I mean, if you want to get real extreme, like Martyrs is out there, you can check out Martyrs, but I don’t recommend it to most people. Um, so that’s why I didn’t mention that. Um Uh what’s the s the what’s the skin I live in? Is that the one with Antonio Banderas uh where he’s doing some very experimental surgery on somebody?

8:04 Um yeah. Check that out if you’re a real sicko. I mean, my current favorites, uh, yes, I just confirmed that on Letterbox for you, Dan, if you were curious. So Um I think the one that’s happening in the mainstream and we’re like all watching it in real time is whatever is going on with Sylvester Stallone’s face. It is, it is horrifying. He looks like Tim Allen and the Santa Claus 2, you know, the toy one. Yeah, there, there’s some stuff going on. I’ll see if I can jump scare you guys later when you’re supposed to be talking on the episode. I mean, if we’re talking real-life body horror, let’s not go down this rib. These ladies and their Ozempic pills need to be separated. That’s all I’m saying. A lot of the men, too, though, to be fair. Yeah, to be fair. But yeah, there’s some. There’s an issue with Hollywood and we need to to People’s heads straight, I think. Hey, look, it’s all about body positivity until everybody can afford it. So here we are.

9:07 Season seven, episode 12 aired on July 12th of 1996. Again, we’re talking about Ear Today… Gone Tomorrow. Ash, we have a bit of a situation this week. Let’s talk about the comic book inspiration as we visit you for this week’s House of Horror. Okay, let’s talk about it. We’re going back to January of 1952, Haunt of Fear issue 11. Didn’t like this one, guys. I feel. It’s a very predictable story anyway. Just going into like the ins and outs of it, but it’s a very predictable story. You can kind of see. You know, the source material, where it came from, because it’s an unscrupulous. Businessman, you know, kind of similar. To the nature of the episode, if you will, but obviously they’re in the fertilizer game. What’s weird is the irony of them using the very material that they’re stealing is from the dead being used to fertilize crops anyway, but they’re just using it like the bones, but.

10:15 You know, when they return from the vacation, crops kill them. And, you know, the consequences of their own sort of exploitation of the dead is quite romantic in the end. But it’s a very predictable story that they were going to get the comeuppins because of the fertilizer going wrong. But I didn’t particularly enjoy it. Guys, ears can mean more than just the things on your head, apparently. It can mean corn as well, which is what the comic’s about. And the episode is not. Yeah, as you get it. This one’s a weird one and just kind of bland and not weird in a good way. So this episode is actually from Tales from the Crypt number 24 with a little episode called Bats in My Belfry. So if you want to read that one, it’s about him getting the audiatoria system of a bat instead of an owl. But that is actually where the story is pulled from. I guess they just wanted to make the pun about ear today. But yes, it is pretty hilarious that we instead ended up talking about coin. Yeah, wait, so hang on a minute. Wait a second. Wait.

11:23 This comic inspiration is not from the episode. Okay. Wikipedia stirred me wrong on this one. No, but I mean, even the wiki page, it links this episode to Haunt of Fear 11. Like, it’s linked to that, obviously, because it’s the same name, it’s the same name and title. And you can see the you can see some similarities with it, but. We read the wrong one. There you go. I mean we read the right one. We read the riot one. Yes. Um but here I’m sending it in the chat just so you guys can check it out. I believe you. But just so you have it for your own record, I’ll just read the synopsis real quick. An actor loses his hearing, so he goes to an unorthodox individual that a friend related him to. This person recommends transplanting the auditoria systems of a bat, to which our hero agrees. Not only does he receive super acute hearing, but he starts to gain other characteristics. Yeah. So that sounds like this episode, man. It does, yeah. We made it through 90-some episodes without fucking up. But I guess we didn’t really fuck up because the Wikipedia points to this irritated gauntlet. Well, he’s the same name, too. Yeah.

12:38 And this isn’t even an attempt at a call out or anything like that. It’s just I thought it was very interesting that they pulled the title, but not actually it. And what’s fun is, um, Bloody Disgusting actually has an article that was published in June that I came across: 10 great EC comic stories not adapted for Tales from the Crypt. And Bats in My Belfry was the number one suggestion. Interesting. Jokes on you, John Squares. Yes, it was. Now, here’s my question. Will I actually go back and read this? Probably not is the answer, but we’ll see. I’ll just time it. Yeah, I’ll put it up on the uh on the uh uh the old socials and say uh what what I thought about it. How about that? There you go. Horrific. That article did tip me off to some other good stories that they did not adapt, including some that feel very obvious for Tales from the Crypt. So shout out to Paul over at Bloody Disgusting for pointing me in the direction of those. But yeah. So I have a question then. Have we covered.

13:42 Maybe we probably don’t know this answer. Have we covered an episode where I, where we’ve covered the comic and we, and it’s kind of like not. It’s loosely related to the source material, but we may have got it wrong. But the name’s been correct. I wonder if that’s happened before. Like the same thing where where they they like the name but they changed it. Yeah, like the name that like we’ve covered the one that we thought it was correct and it’s maybe it’s got loose, you know, der you know, loose kind of connection to the source to the episode, but maybe that’s happened before. We just don’t know. Yeah. And as you guys saw just from looking at the uh link that I sent you, this is actually one of the most famous covers I think of Classic Tales from the Crypt as well. It’s the zombie in the quicksand that I feel like everybody who’s just searched EC Comics has seen before. I believe this is one of the infamous comic covers that led it to… Um You know, all the the comic book uh code stuff that came on later on. Yeah. sense. Apparently it also shows up in Demon Knight, this particular comic book. So fun.

14:50 Hey, we get to talk about that in a couple of weeks as well. Permanently. Stay tuned. We’re fully going to freak out. It’s not every episode where I get to drop a surprise on you guys. So yeah, fun stuff. All right. Well, Devilish Dan, we’ve talked quite a bit about this week’s non-essential comic book reading. So, or essential, if you want to go read another one. So, there we go. Let’s talk about this week’s top billing as we hit the creative team involved. Yeah, let’s talk about a non-essential creative team this week because neither our writer or director have much to their credit on IMDB. The writer Ed. Worked on the Mark Marin Show and Stan Against Evil, as well as Cutting Their Teeth as associate producer on House on a Haunted Hill. But this was his very first credit. Uh the director Christopher Hart only has three things on his IMDB page. Uh this episode, a short film and something called Eat n Run, which is about a gumshoe hunting down a man-eating alien who just so happens to like spicy foods.

15:56 Unfortunately, it’s also a similar story for Robert Lindsay as Glenn Fennell. While he was in quite a few more productions, not many of them were notable. The only things that really stood out to me were as maleficent as King John and an episode of Ab Fab. Although there is a made for TV movie called Brazen Hussy. May need to check out because I sure do love a good brazen hussy. Who doesn’t love a good brazen hussy? I exactly love that. You know, you know what, too? I feel like we’ve said somebody from Absolutely Fabulous like so many times this season, too. Yeah, Ab Fab. I tried to make Mr. Bean a running gag, but it turns out Ab Fab is a National running gag, so look at that. You know who’s also a brazen hussy is Gretchen Palmer as Kate Lawson. We’re getting a little bit better with Gretchen. She was in at least 13 episodes of The Young and the Restless, as well as Wishmaster. Uh but there are a lot of stewardess, hooker, and quote unquote woman type characters listed on her IMDB page.

17:01 Then we have Richard Johnson as Malcolm Lawson. We’re finally getting somewhere with Richard. He was actually in the original The Haunting and Fulci’s Zombie, as well as the boy in the striped pajamas. And finally we have Phil Davis as Henry. I could have sworn that I recognized Phil from fucking something, but the only project that I think I’ve seen him in is Alien 3 and maybe that one episode of Inside Number 9, which is a fantastic show everyone should look at Inside Number 9. But he did provide the voice of Mundungus Fletcher in some of the Harry Potter audiobooks. And as far as I can tell, he was not in anything with Mr. Bean, Mr. Bean actor Rowan. Ending it up pretty good for the series. I guess we got one more episode, but a lot of those are repeats. So a bunch of. unknown people this week for the most part. Yeah. Good unknown cast. But someone who isn’t unknown, of course, is the Crypt Keeper. Let’s talk about that opening segment. We’re going to Slaymart this week because I guess, you know, with the impending cancelization, he has found solace in a retail environment and it’s fun.

18:19 I don’t know, it takes me back to blue light specials and what does he say at one point? Doomingdales? Doomingdales. Which is pretty great. But yeah. Makes me nostalgic for a time that I oh so briefly was in. I did like the Goolight Special pun and it I I have to call that one out because not only is that an old ass pun at this point, uh but it is a very old ass American pun. Uh Kmart used to have a thing called the Blue Light Special where they would announce it over the intercom and there’d be a blue light and for the next hour or so that’s what was on sale. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’ve only just realized it’s referencing Kmart. I’ve never been in a Kmart once in my life. And now I’m just ref now I’m just realizing what it’s referencing. Oh mate. It’s like a Tesco but like different. They got glue glue light specials. You will never beat a Tesco so good. I think Kmarts are still around like Australia, which is strange to me. Somewhere. There was one in Miami for a long time. But yeah, we didn’t close the one in Ocala until sometime in the 2010s. So it was around. It was sad by that point. But I’m pretty sure my original Super Nintendo came from Kmart. Definitely bought some video games back in the day from Kmart. And if you ever want to go down a rabbit hole, there’s two commercials you can watch. You should watch the Star Wars Episode 1.

19:38 Uh is here Kmart commercial because they had their massive tie-in and it was actually tied into Halloween. People were all excited for their Star Wars Halloween costumes. And then you should also watch the infamous Ship My Pants admin. Are you guys familiar with this? No. It’s just customers talking about how if a product’s not in store, they’ll ship it for free. I want to say this is in the late 2000s, early 2010s. And it’s just a bunch of people going, you’re telling me I can ship my pants? I can ship my pants right now. And it’s pretty darn good, actually. So there you go. I appreciate Kmart for having Super Ks, which were one of the first stores to be open 24-7. And you could drive from college at like two o’clock in the morning to hang out in a Super K. for Star Wars Power of the Force action figures. Nice. Big old thick gorilla layer. Yeah, things are great. Television Terror, the episode itself.

20:39 Unfortunately for Glenn Fennell, his one talent has finally dried up. A safe cracker with less than perfect hearing is not a safe cracker at all. And after the most recent failed job, the big boss is not pleased with him. They proceed to whack Glenn on the billiards table, but lucky for him, a beautiful woman interrupts the procedure. And apparently, she’s had a few procedures of her own from the world’s best surgeons. We’re introduced to Kate, the big boss’s wife, who proceeds to recreate her own jackass skid by getting ready to break Glenn’s balls in more ways than one. She manages to convince her husband to give Glenn just one more chance, calling him cute enough. Sort of way. The husband and wife whisper to each other: there’s a bet in place, and Glenn’s life is on the line. Alright. Appalling Ash, what did you think of Ear Today… Gone Tomorrow? Okay, so let’s just break down this sort of opening what you’ve just gone over. So He’s in his debt. Why is he trying to crack a safe? Is he going to utilize him?

21:43 in the future to open saves? Or is was that the bet that he couldn’t open it within like Two minutes and 10 seconds. I’m confused at what. Cracking the safe has to do with it. I believe so. Glenn was a former safe cracker that’s found himself in some gambling debt. The big boss, what’s his name? Malcolm, has found out and he plans on utilizing him as part of his posse. But unfortunately, Glenn can’t. Basically, the boss man owns all his debt, and unless he can prove his worth to him, he is going to get his money back one way or the other. Okay, so yeah, I’m on the same page there. I’m just wondering, like, why, what’s the safe cracking thing all about? Is he gonna utilize him as part of his, you know? To maybe crack some safes moving forward to kind of pay off his debt, maybe. But yeah, I’m not particularly fond of the opening. There’s no real Set up for anything. I don’t want to steal anybody’s thunder, but we kind of talked off air a little bit about the maybe performances in here, too. It felt like almost

22:44 overacted. In a sense, too, which didn’t really hit for me as well. So, from what we’ve gone over so far, Hans, I’m very underwhelmed at where this episode’s taking me. Yeah, uh, you’re not alone, Ash. I had to like kind of pause and go, okay, so what’s going on? It, I’m not, uh, I’m a very like show don’t tell or uh yeah, show don’t tell kind of person where I don’t like exposition dumps, but I felt this needed a little more of an exposition dump because. These farty old Brits are like just talking back and forth. I’m like, wait, I don’t even know who the characters are. You’re talking like I should know who they are. So, yeah, I had to rewind the first time and just try and figure out. What the setup even was, to be honest with you. Um, and I’m still not sure I fully understand it because I think they reference the bet, but the bet pays off at the end of the episode. Um So yeah. Um Very bad setup. Not a great start for this episode.

23:47 I think it kind of all comes together by the end. Cause at the end of the day, they’re testing him to see how they can enhance, like a bunch of comic book villains, their crime empire by utilizing animal parts, right? That’s really all it boils down to. And Glenn is just an unwitting suspect. And I guess the bet is: can Glenn survive or is it going to. Adapt to his body the way that they would like it to, etc. etc. I kind of like that it didn’t throw you right in, but yeah, I see your point where maybe we could have used a little bit of opening narration where it was like, ooh, I found myself in a bad spot recently and here I am. I fought so hard to get out, but I just couldn’t stop gambling, baby. You know, something like that would have worked. He’s Been on what is it? Kalshi. He’s been on that sports betting app way too long. That’s a betting app. It’s Trades Hunter. Trading app. Sure. Everything’s a betting app now, supposedly. But yeah, I didn’t struggle too much with it. But at the end of the day, I think it’s just a solid episode. I do like that it does have a bit of that comic book flavor to it at the end of the day.

24:55 Um, it does in a way attempt to go back to the series’s roots with, um, Just kind of touching into, hey, evil surgeons and guys in over their heads and beautiful women and things like that. So it’s very simple in that regard, but. I didn’t think it was anything exceptional, you know? I did like the setup of like you were talking about with the animal things. So you get to see the one like tough guy got something done with his eyes. And you’re like, wait, what’s with this dude’s eyes? And I didn’t even realize what it was until like halfway through the second villain. I’m like, oh, he was like the test case for her cat eyes. Yep. Yep. So Kate surprises Glenn at the pub one day, flashing her new feline eyes. She needs him to help her rob her husband, promising immense riches, letting him know that really Glenn has no choice between helping her or dying, so he might as well. She leads him up to the bedroom with a bit of flirting between the two, with Glenn knowing that he probably shouldn’t be fucking his boss’s wife, but he really shouldn’t be that concerned because she’s going to do it all for him anyway. So I guess cats are just inherently horny beings. I get it. Cats are in heat, but it’s weird to be like, oh, yeah, cats just be fucking left and right, apparently. Um

26:17 We do get some extended booby time though. This is uh I believe we said right before we stopped recording, this is maybe the longest boobs on camera scene that we’ve gotten in the series. So yeah, there we go. Two bolt-down breasts and one butt for an extended length. And I’m gonna call this the like the final official episode of the series and The next episode is more of like a coda or a farewell, but this is the final traditional episode. So I’m glad to see that we’re closing it out with a lot of gratuitous nudity. Lot of nudity. Yeah. But yeah, but surprisingly, you know, the whole thing is we hear that her husband is gone, but there he is. He’s over there. Uh, in the cuck doorway, just watching it happen. No chair, just the doorway. No chair, yeah. Student. I saw something the other day that was like, How do cucks not get bored? I would probably be on subway surfers on my phone, you know, five minutes in, you’re like, All right, that’s not, I’m gonna just go on stand in the corner playing Marvel Snap, you know.

27:28 I gotta finish this draft mode. It’s only available in two weeks. Look, if I put 99 cents in, it promises me a return on my investment. So I’ve spent 99 cents on worse. I can’t even get a stick of gum for that anymore. I got these trades on Kalshi to complete. Yeah. So Glenn goes to the doctor who promises to use animal parts to restore his hearing while the doctor laughs hysterically at such a monkey of a suggestion. The doctor’s laugh in here might be goaded. It might be one of the best laughs we’ve gotten in the entire series. And his pronunciation of baboons is fantastic. Baboons. Badoons The doc promises him, instead of the hearing, of something much better than a primate. Specifically an owl. Glenn faints promptly, and for better or for worse, Glenn wakes up with his new aviary capability. He can hear it all: heartbeats, lungs breathing in and out, and the formation of hairballs in Kate’s chest. They manage to break into her husband’s safe, but Glenn decides to get the upper hand by pulling a gun on Kate and shooting her dead with a little meow.

28:40 For good measure. I love the animal sound triggers in this. It’s so stupid. Unnecessary. I did like her having nine lives might be like a little bit of a flashback to one of the first episodes, Dig That Cat, He’s Real Gone, where there’s like a science. Again, this is Tales from the Cracked Crypt Connected Universe. You know, maybe Tale from the Cracked. Tales from the Crack. This guy got cracked, by the way. He cracked that dude’s wife. Jesus Christ. But I do have it in here, Dan. Unlucky for him and tying it full circle to where we started with this disease. Her feline implants have given her nine lives. So yeah. Perfect. I like that. And I like to think that was done on purpose. Um anything here Ash? Like I feel like we’ve probably hit anything of note in here, but are there any like silly little observations you might have. No, there’s a I mean there’s a yeah, there’s a lot to unpack from the uh the ending, but yeah, nothing real

29:41 Real noteworthy to add. What I thought was funny though, when Kate went to him to, you know, kind of Use him. Um, she mentions that this you know, husband’s back in five days, and he did mention he’s going to Paris for 10 days, and she just finds him in the pub. Like, he’s doing nothing to help his situation, he’s just chilling in a pub. So, yeah, no choice either way. Right, I think he knows he’s fucked, so he’s just got to do the best he can. Well, anyways, things don’t end well for Glenn because his face suddenly explodes with a large beak protruding out of his face. And his neck spinning completely backwards. So we opened the episode by talking about a little bit of body horror. And here it is. I don’t know. There is something pretty unnerving about the large bird beak coming out of this dude’s face. Yeah, I like this makeup. It looked really good. Yeah. And the effect of his head turning around, it looked good without being too CGI. Um Yeah, this is this is a great way to close out the series. Yeah, they do a little bit of a Wolfman trick, I believe I’ve noticed, with the actual face explosion. It looks like it was cropped from an actual prop with the beak exploding, and then they applied the prosthetic. So a little bit of digital trickery there because it looks a little too smooth, but still a fun little trick nonetheless.

31:02 So the husband and wife mob couple exchange their betting money, and the doctor comes in to explain that Glenn was really just a test subject. After all, the cost of enhancement is unfortunately always going to ruffle a few feathers. So yeah, I love that we just put him down. Do you think he had, do you think they had like owl meat for dinner that night? Like was his body would he have become a man-sized owl at some point and they could have had some KFC fun buckets with this man? No, you you don’t the episode tells you you don’t turn into a full animal. Um You just get some aspects of the animal. So I don’t think he would be an owl man. You know what I think they had? Uh I think they had gin owl me. Jin owl. Bringing it back one last time. Go back to some chicken gin and some owl gin. Eat it on your bed. Well, now we need someone to make an ad for us. Chicken gin. Eat it in your bed.

32:11 We’ll pay our last respects in a moment, but before we do, let’s talk about that closing Crypt Keeper moment where he shocks himself with a charge card, which is a pretty good pun. Yeah. Charge card, get it? Charge card. I wish that we would have been able to end this a little better. I mean, I guess technically next week is the final episode, but you know, I’m getting a bit of blood splatter, but again, my point stands. I feel like last week’s episode would have been a more fitting conclusion with the literal bad guy drinking from a beer with heads in his fridge. You know, it just feels a little bit more full circle for me. All right, last respects. I’ll start this week. I didn’t find this episode overtly offensive. There is some fun effects. I don’t know how often I’m gonna revisit it, but I didn’t really have any problems with it outright either. I’m giving this just three separate thumbs. Yeah, that sounds completely fair. I’ll join you in three severed thumbs. It’s exactly where I’m at. Good effects, a quick episode, but man, it doesn’t tell much of a story. So that’s why it deserves three.

33:18 I’m going a little bit lower. The reason I am, so last week’s episode I thought was light years, not light years is the wrong word, much better than this episode. And I went 3.5 for that one. And if I went three on this one, is there really 0.5 between last week’s episode and this one? don’t think so. So I’m going 2.57 thumbs up for this episode. Okay. So maybe you should boost up last week’s episode. Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Did I go too low last week? Hmm. It sounded like you were pretty. Smart in your decision. I mean, I really can’t blame a 2.5 if that’s how you feel either. Like, I’m not going to fight it on you. Or fight you about it, I guess I should say. I’m not re-recording last week’s episode. He gave it a three-year-old. Hey, if when we do our eerie excellence, maybe I can uh maybe I can talk about it. Give back to the next one. Yeah, we usually talk about is there any adjustments that we need to make. But uh, I feel like I’m pretty confident in this season overall. Yeah. All right, so speaking of eerie excellence, we do have one more episode to cover. But like you said, Dan, it’s a little bit of an outlier. We’re still going to rate it in the normal method. But if you don’t know, Tales from the Crypt actually ends with an animated cartoon special. So come back next week for animated cartoon kind of a misnomer? It ends with a cartoon special, so come back next week.

34:41 To watch the cartoon, especially if you loved the if you grew up with the Tales of the Crypt Keeper animated series. This was kind of a backdoor pilot, but it’s rated R instead of PG. So come back and check that out. And Ash’s segment is either going to be the shortest segment he’s done or an extremely long segment. I think Ash had just talked for three hours about the three little pigs. Like talk about the wrong one again. Yeah. And then, after that, of course, is Eerie Excellence, our final ever Eerie Excellence. Because for the big finale, we’re going to have to do a collaboration where we get all four of us to talk about our favorite hits of the entire series. So, Dan, you’ve been doing the math. You’ve been keeping track. I cannot wait to see what actually tops the list as our top. 20 favorites and our bottom five least favorites. Yeah, it’s not going to be next week’s episode, but you should tune in next week to hear what we think about. Three Little Pigs Animated Cartoon Special, as Hunter likes to say. Yeah, Animated Cartoon Special. Someone who watches a lot of animated cartoon specials.

35:50 Appalling Ash, what’s going on, my dude? What are you up to right now at the end of September? Yeah, just f I mean for for us especially Halloween Horror Night season is in uh full swing, a month done already, which is pretty crazy when you you know you wait all year round for it. Um Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Um September’s very big. Birthday month for my family, we have like four Virgos all within like A week or so, so lots of celebrations going on. But yeah, if you want to find me personally, I am at AshMB13 on other socials. Awesome, man. Awesome. Devilish Dan, what’s up with you, my dude? Yeah, bro, give us all a follow at HorrorVaultPod on Instagram and Twitter. Maybe Blue Sky if you’re one of the 10 weirdos on there still. And then you can follow me. Like Ash said, I’ll be at HHN probably when this episode drops. So check out. Pictures there, I guess. I don’t know. And then it’s all autumn all the way down. So you can see that shit at red, right, Dan.

36:57 And hopefully, by the time you listen to this over on the Grim Grinning Host feed, I actually have our HHN reviews up, waiting for a couple more members of that party to come. Maybe even Dan, who knows? But we will be talking more Halloween horror nights over there as we prep for spooky season and pay tribute to good friends. If you don’t want to follow me on my podcast, totally get it. Who the fuck wants to listen to this voice for more than an hour? You can find me on Letterboxd at Discount Vincent Price. We want to thank you all again for tuning in. We’ll catch you next time for the season, well, for the series finale, just not the Horrors from the Vault finale. So we’ll catch you next time for that. But until then, …

38:14 turn into the vault. Fright.